Less conflict through more understanding
The world is characterised by structures that
provide support, stability and security and make everyday life easier through familiar procedures or
restrict one’s own personality, burden it with their rigidity and lead to conflicts.
Therefore, it is important to understand the structures and their interrelationships in order to be able to use them positively ‒ be it for smooth everyday organisation, professional success or in relationships.
Especially in relationships, it is often the case that two people cannot understand each other, because they automatically judge a situation only from their own world view, without taking into account the often completely different perception of the other person. This results in mutual mortifications and many conflicts that could be avoided if one understood the personality structure of the other.
Using the model of the inner family(AL), I let my clients recognise fundamental connections in their relationship. Just one couple structure analysis can therefore give a deep understanding of one’s own relationship ‒ and this newfound understanding can be implemented immediately in everyday life.
With the Am-Ziel-Erleuchtung© [Final-Enlightenment(AL)], relationships are no longer conducted at the structural level. Rather, a final-enlightened(AL) person is completely detached in the earthly and feels independent and free. Instead, filled with self-love, she/he shapes relationships out of her/his own inner joy with at the same time healing others through her/his radiance of love. In doing so, she/he is guided by her/his soul task. Those, who are final-enlightened(AL), no longer need relationships, but can enjoy them.
A case from my practice:
A woman in her early fifties came into my practice, because she feared for her decades long marriage. Her husband was increasingly offended by trivial things and then very suddenly became angry, so that she could no longer stand his outburst-like accusations.
When she realised that she was already starting to drift away from him internally, she knew that something absolutely had to be changed. She specifically hoped for help for her marriage from me, because I combine spirituality with down-to-earthness, so that she could persuade her down-to-earth husband to make an appointment with me.
First I got an overview of the personality structures of both partners and found that they both complemented each other very well. They both had a mixture of inner-woman and inner-man personality parts in their psyche that were about equally pronounced and which were also cooperatively connected with each other. As a result, they both had the strengths and perspectives of both personality parts within themselves, between which they unconsciously switched back and forth in everyday life.
During three joint appointments of one and a half hours each, we talked through their conflict issues of closeness and distance, joint leisure activities and division of housework. In the process, all the differences in leisure time activities and the division of housework turned out to be misunderstandings due to incomplete perception of their personality parts.
One can imagine that the two of them formed their relationship with an inner pair of inner woman and inner man. Their four inner persons with their individual perspectives had always been involved in all their everyday arrangements and decisions, but only the two dominant ones had the say and the others became disruptive factors without being noticed. The moment my clients, with my support, became aware of their four inner personality parts involved, they were able to break through their old relationship patterns and find solutions that took into account the needs of all personality parts.
In the area of closeness and distance, it turned out that a change in the man’s career was the cause of his being easily offended and too close in their relationship. We therefore arranged individual appointments with him to discuss his professional future. Further joint appointments were no longer necessary, because they both felt their love again, which had already led them through so many decades together. I too was deeply touched to see how lovingly they looked at each other after all these years together.
Can this case be generalised?
In fact, the vast majority of relationship difficulties are based on the different views of the various inner personality parts of both partners. The human psyche consists of an inner family(AL) with inner child, inner woman and inner man and the health, strength and cooperation of the inner family members determines the personality structure. This in turn shapes all kinds of relationships and especially love relationships.
If you know your own personality structure and that of your partner well, you can manage relationships more consciously and thus much better. I therefore help my clients to recognise their own personality structures as well as those of their partner, which regularly triggers immediate “aha” effects and new ways of dealing.
So you recommend couples therapy?
This knowledge about the inner family(AL) is still unknown (as of 2015) even among couple therapists, although you can find a lot of information about family therapy and energy on the internet under the term “inner family”. My realisation of the inner family(AL) as the human psyche and the entire transcendental consciousness comes from my direct perception as a Spiritual Master of the Am-Ziel-Erleuchtung© [Final-Enlightenment(AL)].
It is my mission to bring this vast knowledge to people. That is why I have published my book “Spiritual Psychotherapy: the inner family“, through which this structural approach will then also become known for couple therapy. I explain how final-enlightened(AL) individuals form relationships in “Der vollständige spirituelle Weg” (The complete spiritual path).
Which people does your couple structural analysis particularly address?
Mostly women come to my psychotherapy / coaching practice, who are disappointed by their partner’s lack of love. Then an analysis of the personality structures yields a great deal of understanding for oneself, the partner and the relationship, from which completely new approaches to solutions can be developed. My clients also learn, what they can realistically expect from their relationship, which in turn helps them to ask themselves whether their relationship is worth fighting for.
If both partners want their relationship to continue, joint couple appointments are a good option. My clients then learn about the different perspectives of their inner family(AL) on the basis of their personal issues and find solutions that take all needs into account. Just knowing the other person’s point of view regularly leads to great inner relief for both partners.
Am-Ziel-Erleuchtung©: New Age as an evolutionary leap in consciousness: The healed and transcended inner family(AL) combined with conventional enlightenment as Am-Ziel Erleuchtung© ‒ the complete spiritual path ‒ see also Spiritual Masters and Gurus.